Enough

So I just finished my performance for vocal soiree which is my last time ever, and I am so so so disappointed in myself.
I was just so nervous, it's not like me. I'm never nervous, even though I am I would calm down the moment I start singing, but this time my heart was just like going as fast as it could. I went outta tune not once but 3 effin times!! THREE!!!! I know this song so well and I sing it well too. Why oh why. So embarrassing. So not my standard.
Is this God's sign of asking me to quit fantasizing about being a singer? Well, if it is, it is working.
Coz now I'm not going to audition for graduation anymore.
I couldn't even pull of this song in front of what? 40 people? 50 max?
Talk about singing in front of the whole graduating class, plus their parents, plus the faculty plus the other students. More than 2000 I'm estimating?
My confidence just plunged to level zero....

Difference between talking & bragging

Warning: This is going to be a pretty long post with words and no pics :)

So I reached school at 8 40am this morning and as I was walking to form class I saw C sitting outside of J block. I didn’t want to say hi because I wanted to do my Chinese speech (the test is next Saturday FML). But then I heard “Kimberley!” and that’s when I knew it was unavoidable, so she walked up to me and I actually was being quite friendly (thinking that she had became a nicer person) and I found out that she had a vocal soiree audition. I was going to do my audition this Friday morning but anyways.

Do you know when someone is trying to brag about themselves in a bad way? Ya I mean I’m not trying to be mean or anything but knowing her character and all, to me it’s pretty obvious with her tone of voice. “Ms. N said I did really well, she asked me if I practiced and I said no (in a braggy tone, I’m not exaggerating)”. Well I would have felt happy for her but knowing her personality and stuff…

Then we talked about what song I was gonna sing for my audition, when I told her a Chinese song she was like “seriously? You may as well sing a Korean song like 2NE1’s lonely or something”. I swear  it’s her tone of voice. You have to hear her say it to you.  I dunno, I may be overreacting and being sensitive? 

After that, she continued with her bombardment with "You know when you sang should've said no last year, my mom was like 'oh you know that girl who sang with the violinist and guitarist, they were so out of tune'" I'm like -.- and you tell me this now because?? I'm like No we weren't and you know when someone tells you a comment about another person and that other person doesn't agree with the comment, usually the middle person would just say "Oh I don't know it was xxx who gave the comment" something like that right!　BUT she kept on insisting that we were out of tune so I the first thing that came out of my mouth was (while she was babbling on) "Erm, no we practiced in front of Ms. Lamount and Ms Nicholson and Mr Steele too and they said that we were pretty good". Of course I didn't say the last bit. I wish I did though (*^#^$#@ I dunno why at that moment, I actually wanted to cry :( I don't know the reason but just that I wondered why would she want to do that and why are there such people like her in the world. It’s just so sad..Gosh I sound so dramatic lol.

I am not a narcissist and my character and personality is seriously not like that. I AM NOT THE TYPE OF PERSON WHO BRAG even if I wanted to >.> but,

I mean if I wasn't good and stuff why was I chosen to sang on assembly and not you? Why was I considered for the lead role for the school musical and not you? Why was I asked to perform during State High Beats and not you? Why did I pass the audition for last year's vocal soiree and you didn't? Furthermore, don't you ever wonder why why WHY some people just dislike you so much? Control your mouth please. 

감사합니다! There's my korean, in your face :P

ok bye.

P.S I sound so childish, who cares =D

Demi Lovato

Just love her and everything she does.


I like you, put your number, put your number in my phone, phone, phone, phone, phone, phone, phone, yeah~

So I talked to him on fb while he was at work. We talked for quite a long while.
Was gonna continue after I finish my shower. Except.
I went on a dance party with my mom at home. I created a list of KPOP songs with catchy dance moves and just dance for an hour and a half! Yes that's from 7:30 to 9:30p.m. wow! haha totally digging dancing again. I realize my flexibility is going down the drain seriously. can't even lift my left lef in a attitude of 90 degress anymore :(

and I tried to do this action again:


barely got my leg up to my head and didn't have any more strength asjdfhweur! CRIES
I wanna go back to Mrs. Lu and hear her yell even when waiting at the reception area. I miss ballet class.
I wanna go back to SDT and discover myself, push my limits and being the boss! nah jokes. I'm not that kind of person.
I wanna go back to 6th floor of CCA building (although I dread climbing up those stairs!) and grand jete from one corner of the studio to the other.
Ah memories...

Anyways.
I signed in to msn. and I still remembered when he said that he thought I was dead coz I signed in late that day. awww..
So I signed in right and he didn't say hi, so I went offline and signed in again ( I know, shut up!) and he said hello. hehhehe
I seriously hope he doesn't know this blog exists :O and if you are reading this, please just act like this is some random shit. lol thank you

ok bye.