Confidence

Where has all my confidence gone to?

Knock knock, anyone there?

What exactly is a blog? A diary that one keep online?
I thought a diary was private and personal. However there's these people that "follows" you. What does that make blogging? Sometimes I just wish that I know someone reads my blog on a regular basis, so that I have a feeling as if I'm talking to someone and feel comforted. But I don't want you to read it as well because it's suppose to be personal. This is so confusing :/ Anyone out there? perhaps just gimme a nod? or something......

ok bye.

多可怜

I am sick and tired of always hearing “多可怜”。So what. C’mon la. You always told me to be strong and not see the negative side of things. But here you are, telling me about her. –sigh-

This is so irrelevant. I should be the understanding one and shouldn’t be complaining here. I’m actually being very immature. However, I’m just not mature I guess? No that’s not it. And it is not because of me wanting attention as well. Not the sibling rivalry thing. No, nothing near there. I dunno how to explain how I feel. Like after that phone call, I just felt really pissed not at her but at you. The way you talked to me, it’s like you expected it to be “common sense”. But it was!! To me!! It’s natural! Facebook is a place where it’s like my non-private diary. I express my feelings there, I don’t care what people see because that’s what facebook is about. Knowing people’s life but pretending that you don’t. Does that makes sense? Who cares? This is only meant for me to read.

Anyways, I would say. It’s neither your fault or my fault. I don’t see what’s wrong with me posting that on fb, it’s not like I’m destroying you. As a matter of fact, it’s something so joyous that I couldn’t wait to share with my friends (thanks for pouring cold water on me). If you have a problem with that post because you are afraid of your in-laws seeing it. Then I have to say I don’t understand a bit. One, I am still a teenager, I don’t understand the “stressful-in-law” thing. Two, it was about THEIR grandchild being born. OMG! What cannot take stress again? Haish. I don’t even want to hear the explanation to this outbreak. I guess I just don’t understand people who can’t take pressure because obviously I been through a very hard time (not saying that yours isn’t) for the first two years of high school. 

I apologise if I upset you. And I hope you have a smooth delivery tonight (if he decides to come out tonight. lol) and I seriously hope you or my parents or Shannon (shh!!) or the any of the in-laws read this post. Or else I’ll be in such huge touble this would be my last post. Our relationship will seriously be forever damaged.

P.S. I still remember you giving me a facial when I was just 9 and hugging me till I fell asleep in your arms J with the facial still on my face haha.

ok bye.