I flew all the way to Sydney for the weekend just to audition for SBS Kpop Star Season 2. And I didn't make it.
I have to say I was shocked, I really thought I had it this time. First time in HK, ya I wasn't impressive; second time round in GZ my heart accelerated because of my sickness and this time I thought I would have everything under control. I actually am very confused why I didn't get in. I watched all the past auditionees experience clips on youtube and they showed the dance that they did. It wasn't even impressive and they managed to get into second round! Don't say they had that charisma, individuality, coz they did not.
The only thing I could think of as for the reasons that I couldn't get in was because 1) I went to early. My god I was number 9! I obviously didn't learn from my lesson in GZ. 2) There was a little girl a few numbers before I and she passed so obviously they couldn't pass that many people within such short period of time. I mean when I was singing Rolling In The Deep, one of the judges was really into it, she was nodding her head to the beat. Then they asked me to dance, which I did. They let me finish the off choreography for god's sake! Usually, they would ask you to stop if they had no interest in you but they made me do the whole dance. When I was finished and catching my breath, the translator said "sorry you didn't make it". I think my world stopped for a second while the words sunk in. I had to put on this stupid smiley face and walk out of the room with a camera up in my face. I was really down the whole afternoon, and my walk to Coogee Beach did not help AT ALL.
Anyways, maybe this is God's sign telling me that the Korean industry is not for me, or rather the entertainment industry in general. But I really do not see myself in the future doing anything else other than this. And missing my mom does not help. I've never realize how much I missed my mom and always took her for granted until this trip. Wondering why she didn't call every hour like she'll use to when I'm in Brisbane. What if I really did get accepted and become a trainee in Korea. I'll only get to communicate with her once every three days. Very cruel I'd say. That's one of the obstacles that I'm facing in chasing my dreams. I'm the only child and I'm so close with my parents. I'm their everything, their world and they love me so much. I feel so guilty that I have this dream. I feel like I'm betraying them and won't be able to repay them. I'll miss them so much and they'll miss me to death.
Another chance gone....why do I keep making the wrong decisions? I'm flying back tomorrow and I have to go to the three hour economics lecture right after I land. Oh the joy. I seriously don't feel like studying now, perhaps a gap year is suitable for me. I know I won't do well in my studies because I'm not putting any effort in it. It's just not my focus now. It's not what I want to do now. For example, I read this article about 14 years old going on reality shows (The Voice, X Factor); are they considered too young? Some argued that not at all. It's just like olympic swimmers, since they were 10, they'd wake up at 5am in the morning, go to training and miss the first period of school. Their aim is to compete in the Olympics, and because of that they must train since young in order to be considered for the Olympics. Is it worth it? Absolutely, definitely, when they swim in the Olympic games.
Moral of the story? I don't know....
ok bye.
Sep 16, 2012
Sep 1, 2012
TVB Singing Finals
I came fourth! It was held in Logan Entertainment Centre, started at 6:30pm. Here's the rundown.
Individual rehearsals in the morning then opening number in the afternoon. Makeup and hair started at 4pm. Makeup was by Amy. She's experience but she only sponsored hair. As for the makeup. My god..I was really shocked when I saw one of the girls makeup. I had to ask her twice if she was done with her makeup. It wasn't even stage makeup! More like a everyday look. Really jaw-dropping. Luckily Amy helped to touch up. Show was suppose to start at 6:30pm but at 6pm half the girls and the guys still had not had their makeup done. Seriously?!
Opening number: Xin Zhe De Ai
My panty hose was dropping! No kidding! So I wasn't that high during this number I was like keeping my legs crossed the whole time LOL
1st Song: What Have You Done by G.E.M.
So happy with my performance especially after I watched the recording.I was contestant no.4 btw. SYY came running backstage and said that my voice was warmed up and everything was just perfect ^^ Then suddenly her face was blue, and I thought I was about to faint. I was like why's your face blue, and she hugged me tightly and both of us were really scared. Turns out that we were standing under a blue light. But after that, I realized that that wasn't the matter. Other people stood below the blue light too and their face didn't turn blue. What happened to me??
2nd Song: Wasn't really sure if I was gonna be Top 5 and be able to skip second round. The first announced Fiona and she was no. 7. So I thought they were announcing it according to number sequence so I was like awww I didn't make it into Top 5 but never mind! Then they were like Number 4 Kimberley. I was seriously surprised! Really did not expect them to go in random order.
3rd Song: Xiao Sa Zhou Yi Hui (PK Round)
I was very satisfied with my song choice for this Golden Melody Round. My dress was beautiful and just suited the song oh-so-perfectly! The Top 5 were invited onto the stage again and the other Top 5 from second round were announced. We had to then choose the order that we were gonna sing in and guess what, I was number 4 again! haha. I was paired up against this guy and I thought hmm shouldn't be that bad. When it was our turn, I sang first, so I had to stand at the side of the stage while he was singing and I had no idea that he had standard. He's song was a slow song by Leslie Cheung and it was very emotional, totally different from mine. I was actually scared whether if I'd be able to win him. But I did. Thank god!
4th Song: I Believe by Jane Zhang (Acapella)
So last round. I blew it HA. I was the 2nd one to sing. It was going well until I came out from the high note. Totally lost my pitch LOL. Just went flat or rather sharp haha. I find it funny too. I knew I was 4th after Danielle sang.
I'm just happy and grateful that my heart was under control and did not accelerate at all. Not even once! Maybe because I took the medicine, but still! At least I could show my best. I came fourth. Funny how the whole night, the number four kept appearing huh. It's my new lucky number, despite being bad in Chinese culture. haha who cares.
I really wished that I got at least 3rd place. If only I sang Xin Zhe De Ai, but oh well, it's over now...What I wanna get out is that the standard between me and 5th place are totally different. Like, I've been trained since young so I've got certain standard, and it's just that we are at a different level. Makes me sound really snobbish but it's just a fact. I'm not being proud or dissing anyone. It's my diary anyways. No one gonna read me...sigh Kimberley.
ok bye.
Individual rehearsals in the morning then opening number in the afternoon. Makeup and hair started at 4pm. Makeup was by Amy. She's experience but she only sponsored hair. As for the makeup. My god..I was really shocked when I saw one of the girls makeup. I had to ask her twice if she was done with her makeup. It wasn't even stage makeup! More like a everyday look. Really jaw-dropping. Luckily Amy helped to touch up. Show was suppose to start at 6:30pm but at 6pm half the girls and the guys still had not had their makeup done. Seriously?!
Opening number: Xin Zhe De Ai
My panty hose was dropping! No kidding! So I wasn't that high during this number I was like keeping my legs crossed the whole time LOL
1st Song: What Have You Done by G.E.M.
So happy with my performance especially after I watched the recording.I was contestant no.4 btw. SYY came running backstage and said that my voice was warmed up and everything was just perfect ^^ Then suddenly her face was blue, and I thought I was about to faint. I was like why's your face blue, and she hugged me tightly and both of us were really scared. Turns out that we were standing under a blue light. But after that, I realized that that wasn't the matter. Other people stood below the blue light too and their face didn't turn blue. What happened to me??
2nd Song: Wasn't really sure if I was gonna be Top 5 and be able to skip second round. The first announced Fiona and she was no. 7. So I thought they were announcing it according to number sequence so I was like awww I didn't make it into Top 5 but never mind! Then they were like Number 4 Kimberley. I was seriously surprised! Really did not expect them to go in random order.
3rd Song: Xiao Sa Zhou Yi Hui (PK Round)
I was very satisfied with my song choice for this Golden Melody Round. My dress was beautiful and just suited the song oh-so-perfectly! The Top 5 were invited onto the stage again and the other Top 5 from second round were announced. We had to then choose the order that we were gonna sing in and guess what, I was number 4 again! haha. I was paired up against this guy and I thought hmm shouldn't be that bad. When it was our turn, I sang first, so I had to stand at the side of the stage while he was singing and I had no idea that he had standard. He's song was a slow song by Leslie Cheung and it was very emotional, totally different from mine. I was actually scared whether if I'd be able to win him. But I did. Thank god!
4th Song: I Believe by Jane Zhang (Acapella)
So last round. I blew it HA. I was the 2nd one to sing. It was going well until I came out from the high note. Totally lost my pitch LOL. Just went flat or rather sharp haha. I find it funny too. I knew I was 4th after Danielle sang.
I'm just happy and grateful that my heart was under control and did not accelerate at all. Not even once! Maybe because I took the medicine, but still! At least I could show my best. I came fourth. Funny how the whole night, the number four kept appearing huh. It's my new lucky number, despite being bad in Chinese culture. haha who cares.
I really wished that I got at least 3rd place. If only I sang Xin Zhe De Ai, but oh well, it's over now...What I wanna get out is that the standard between me and 5th place are totally different. Like, I've been trained since young so I've got certain standard, and it's just that we are at a different level. Makes me sound really snobbish but it's just a fact. I'm not being proud or dissing anyone. It's my diary anyways. No one gonna read me...sigh Kimberley.
ok bye.
Aug 10, 2012
Fustrated.
You guys don't have the qualifications to debut. Do you even want it at all? Can you even carry a note? You probably got chosen coz you were skinny and you had that hint of dance background. Well I know training was tough but do you even have the passion? What is your goal and aim?
Well you guys are starting a new journey. I'm still stuck in stupid Brisbane whether nothing happens. Clock is ticking and I don't have much time anymore. My singing technique doesn't seem to be improving. I wanna take a gap year and just concentrate and do my best and see where it'll take me. A part of me wants it so badly but another part of me tells me that it's never gonna happen and I should just concentrate on the reality. Easier said than that.
Competition is in three weeks. THREE! And out of the fours songs that I have to prepare I only know the lyrics to one. Good job! I do feel like giving up and pull out of the competition but I'm sure this is just where I am having my "down time". Probably wasn't the best idea to yell just now. My throat hurts now.
They ask me to pray. And I did, every day during that period. But nothing happened. I guess it's all boiled down to hard work again huh? Again easier said than done.
ok bye.
Well you guys are starting a new journey. I'm still stuck in stupid Brisbane whether nothing happens. Clock is ticking and I don't have much time anymore. My singing technique doesn't seem to be improving. I wanna take a gap year and just concentrate and do my best and see where it'll take me. A part of me wants it so badly but another part of me tells me that it's never gonna happen and I should just concentrate on the reality. Easier said than that.
Competition is in three weeks. THREE! And out of the fours songs that I have to prepare I only know the lyrics to one. Good job! I do feel like giving up and pull out of the competition but I'm sure this is just where I am having my "down time". Probably wasn't the best idea to yell just now. My throat hurts now.
They ask me to pray. And I did, every day during that period. But nothing happened. I guess it's all boiled down to hard work again huh? Again easier said than done.
ok bye.
Mar 24, 2012
Feb 9, 2012
I feel so useless like I'm not worth anything. I feel like I could have done so much better if I tried harder. I feel like I'm such a failure, sad to have a child like me huh. I feel like life is just leading me no where and I don't see myself even in the next 10 years. Let's just hope the world really ends this year so I can start a new life and try again.
Shedding all the tears to ahieve this dream, is it really worth it?
Shedding all the tears to ahieve this dream, is it really worth it?
Jan 21, 2012
So I'm back in KK and I should be ecstatic but I'm not. I thought I would be. My mood changes all the time similar to a mood swing. Where should i start? Uni?
Well uni. The words are kinda scary to me. BEWARE: THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG POST!
Well I did not get accepted to engineering at uq which was a disappointment coz I thought if I got it then everything will be solved and I won't have second thoughts on it. But no I got QS instead. And then now I think I want to study optometry so badly. I'm very sure if I study media or something I would be good at it. But being Canto I want face. so yea I'm so self-conscious and scared of what people would think of me it is ridiculous I know but I can't change my mind that easily can I? Why can't there be just a course to be a singer.
I wanna earn money yes I admit I like fame in a good way not coz I'm proud but I am the type of person that needs compliments then I will improve. If you don't compliment me then I'll think I suck and won't bother at improving myself. I know this sounds very bad but trust me I'm not an obnoxious person and definitely not hidung tinggi. Just you knw everyone works differently.
Well uni. The words are kinda scary to me. BEWARE: THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG POST!
Well I did not get accepted to engineering at uq which was a disappointment coz I thought if I got it then everything will be solved and I won't have second thoughts on it. But no I got QS instead. And then now I think I want to study optometry so badly. I'm very sure if I study media or something I would be good at it. But being Canto I want face. so yea I'm so self-conscious and scared of what people would think of me it is ridiculous I know but I can't change my mind that easily can I? Why can't there be just a course to be a singer.
I wanna earn money yes I admit I like fame in a good way not coz I'm proud but I am the type of person that needs compliments then I will improve. If you don't compliment me then I'll think I suck and won't bother at improving myself. I know this sounds very bad but trust me I'm not an obnoxious person and definitely not hidung tinggi. Just you knw everyone works differently.
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